CD 10 - Vixen
i have been profoundly changed by our phone sessions and by the Vixen CD. Being a woman is every bit as wonderful as i had hoped it would be. i feel like a sexy woman for a good part of the work day and in quiet moments i can summon my feminine self to the surface easily. My goal is to totally vanquish my former self but in 2 1/2 weeks you've brought me a new inner peace. Thank you!!
i want to add that for the first time in over 40 years, my chronic hand rash has resolved. Suppressing the rash with topicals meds failed to acheive the deep cure that feminization has provided. And this cure occured without you're knowledge of my problem. Your magic is indeed quite powerful.
Your Slave Girl,
Jessica Stein <changes102453@hotmail>
Newton, MA USA - Tuesday, February 10, 2004 at 19:07:27 (EST)
Your website and services have had an incredible effect on me over the past year. i started with the Male Charm CD, then Happiness, Envy, and Vixen. i wanted to be obsessed with cock and cum when i started being hypnotized, but the obsession has become greater than i ever imagined. It has gotten to the point where I want to quit my job and become a hooker, sucking men's cocks and swallowing their cum for money all day long. All i can think about is having a cock explode with cum in my mouth and ass.
After much debating with myself, i have finally ordered the Youth CD. i am scared and incredibly turned on at the same time. i want nothing more than to have big boobs so i can be an even better bimbo and attract more cocks. i don't know what to do about my friends, family, and job if and when i grow breasts. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
i can't wait until i have a set of my own big tits!
Kansas City, MO USA - Sunday, May 09, 2004 at 23:45:38 (EDT)
It's been awhile since I posted to the site, so I thought I'd share what's been happening.
For about 2 years I have been struggling with resisting but not being able to get away from this site or Mind Mistress. I was so captivated when I 1st came here but then realixed I better try and get away before MM really takes a hold of me. Of course, I couldn't and kept coming back again and again. Talking to Mistress Linda, ordering her CD's and falling deeper and deeper into her grip.... all the while thinking this is just highly erotic fantasy. So many in the channel who I adore have helped in so many ways.
I finally had some sessions with Mistress Linda and they were so awesome. She really took hold of me like she had bee enticing and seducing me for years getting me ready for this. Well, she ended up casting a spell on me and made a wax doll image of me. She added 2 big round pieces of wax on my chest and told me that this was the new me and that sharlene will take full control now. She also made me beg her to make it real, permanent and forever. I did and she did. She said I was now her shemale slut. I found this highly erotic but still didn't think a whole lot about it.
Well, I have realized that I came to this site on purpose when I was ready to let my gender dysphoria out and embrace it. Just took awhile due to having to stuff it far down throughout life.
I now need to be a gorgeous knockout woman more than ever. I am embracing my transsexuality now and feel compulsed to have my body be that of a gorgeous transsexual. I need at least D-Cup breasts and a nice squeezable butt and pair of lucious hips.
I have realized that this is at my core and is my true need at my deepest levels. I am now accepting this so much more and loving it. When my mind thinks what the hell am I doing, I realize that sharlene is in control and is doing with me what she has wanted to do for oh so long. The hypnosis just helped me to realize, accept and give into it. I do need some more sessions with Mistress.... badly.
I have been feminizing so much more now. I'm almost through with permanently removing my hand and finger hairs and am about to start concentrating on a new place to work on. I really hate body hair! :)It is so different now and hormones will give me the woman's body I so badly need.
And cock.... mmmmmm I am irresistably attracted to cock now. Mistress is making me a straight girl. My sexual attraction to women has diminished alot although I still have an insatiable desire to be them when I see them or see them sucking cock or getting pounded in movies and pics. yoah..... what a turn on.
- Tuesday, May 25, 2004 at 01:05:04 (EDT)
I have listened to Vixen five times so far and wanted to send you a review as you requested. Especially after listening to Vixen for two nights back to back, I felt tremendous waves continually going through my body while you continued to control my pleasure. My legs were spread wide open as the sensations grew stronger and stronger thoughout. I enjoyed one of the sensations and feelings of being an aroused female.
I have also found myself caressing and fondling my breasts more and more and admiring them in the mirror. I have thoughts that I am such a naughty girl. While I think I should stop this CD, I continue to find myself drawn more and more to the need to listen to your voice and obey you without question.
MA USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 16:18:13 (EDT)
Hmmm... I don't know exactly where to begin. Let me start with Jazz.
Jazz listened to Vixen for the first time Saturday; and I had to bite my tongue to keep from trying out the trigger to see what it might do. Mistress says it takes several sessions to become really effective.
Question: Have any of you audio taped your responses during trance? Jazz responds really quietly during trance so I haven't been an active observer most of the time. The novelty wore off pretty quickly. I also didn't want to provide any distraction (at first), but now, unless there is mayhem going on, you can't awaken her.
On the other hand, Mistress clued me in via email that I should observe her about 18 minutes into listening to Vixen. By the time I got that email, it was too late on Saturday to try that so I had her repeat Vixen Sunday afternoon.
Jazz usually listens to her CD's sitting in the recliner in her home office. So, about fifteen minutes after she retired, I peeked in on her and watched for several minutes. Suddenly she lost the completely relaxed posture I associate with trance and gently shook her head a couple of times, she began squirming, and then low-level moans passed from her lips. A couple of times I heard, "More, Please!" and "You do!" She continued squirming and moaning for several minutes until she mewled like a kitten, her back arched slightly, she smiled and then relaxed again. Reading the description of Vixen from the site that could only be the point where Mistress implants her female orgasm.
I'm not sure whether she was trying to resist or not, but, Gentle Readers, I think Jasmine Renee Vixen-Hufnagel has been born... BTW, after questioning Jazz, she either doesn't remember exactly what's on the CD or her conscious mind is blocking out the memories. I genuinely believe she isn't aware that she's receiving different programming.
- Monday, November 08, 2004 at 18:08:45 (EST)
This review also refers to CD 3
Jasmine Renee Hufnagel A Journal
Mistress Amanda has directed me to start keeping a journal in order for her to review my experiences with Mind Mistress's CD's. She has also told me to try to focus more on my feelings about, rather than on the mechanics of the changes. However, I will endeavor to address BOTH issues for the sake of your better understanding the changes in my life. Since this all started approximately two months ago, this log will consist of part commentary, part analysis, and part just plain faulty memory. I apologize for that last part.
I have been a submissive crossdresser since I was 12 years old, though it may have had beginnings even before that. I remember, as a young child, visiting my sister who was much older. She had two daughters only a year or so younger than I was. We often played dress-up, and on occasion, when I had to stay over for some unforeseen reason, my sister always dressed me in a pair of her daughters' underwear and a nightie after my bath.
When I was twelve I discovered my Mom's panty drawer and found myself fondling her things, trying them on and the incredibly good and naughty feelings they provided. At the time, I wasn't aware that this was actually the birth of my sexual urges. I found that I particularly loved the tight restrictive feeling of her girdles. I continued to experiment along these lines throughout adolescence.
I met Mistress Amanda, a natural dominant, during our junior year in college and we dated through our junior and senior years. Even though I planned to go off to take my masters degree and she was staying home for hers, we loved each other enough to get married in the summer before we started. I can tell you a long distance marriage for 9+ months can be tough to manage with graduate school workloads, but, manage we did. In fact, I think we became even closer during that time apart. Since then, we settled in a moderately sized town, close to a metropolitan area, where we have both pursued our respective careers.
Mistress Amanda and I get along wonderfully. Most of the time. The only squabbles we have had are when our preferences in dominance/submission clashed. After all, very few people are FULLY dominant, or FULLY submissive, but rather a portion of each. Unfortunately, Mistress Amanda never really enjoyed my fantasies of forced crossdressing. I don't mean to say she wasn't supportive, she just didn't like taking an active role, preferring spanking and other activities to force feminizing me. That all changed a couple of months ago.
Around the last week of August, Mistress Amanda and I had a squabble about my crossdressing. I got the business end of her paddle and strap for a few days, but that wasn't too different from usual. Things got pretty much back to normal until about the second week of September. She presented me with a CD, saying that it was a hypnosis CD. She also mentioned it was the first in a series and that I might like what was to come. I certainly didn't want to argue with her.
I remember the first couple times that I listened to it I didn't feel like anything had happened. Maybe I was too tense? Or perhaps I was being too apprehensive or excited about the possibilities. Mistress Amanda directed me to stick with it, informing me that I'd find the benefits well worth the effort. Then, if I remember correctly, on a Saturday afternoon while Mistress Amanda was out shopping, it happened. I sat down with the CD player and the CD and listened to Mistress Linda's soothing voice. I "awoke" when the audio ended about 45 minutes later and felt ... different ... than after previous sessions. Among other things, I felt very happy and pleased. I also felt like I'd had the better part of a good night's sleep.
When I told Mistress Amanda of my success, she was really pleased. We had a great evening and she directed me to continue with the CD everyday.
(Note: Anytime my workload gets so heavy that it cuts into my sleep. I use this CD as a sleep refresher and I'm good for several more hours, or just before bedtime after a 19-20 hour day, it makes the following sleep feel like it is twice as long.)
I continued to listen to the CD for the next several weeks. It was just before the first of October, I began to get these strange feelings, these strange ... urges, at odd times of the day and in unlikely places. It all started with perfume. I thought I was going crazy and that my fascination with crossdressing had pushed me over the edge into obsession, or further, into insanity. I was afraid to mention it to Mistress Amanda, since things had been going so well between us.
I kept hoping, in fact praying, that these urges would pass. Hoping against hope that this was a passing phase caused by the repression of my yearnings to crossdress. With no one to turn too, hoping was about all I had left
However, the Urges did not cease. Quite the opposite, they continued to grow, becoming stronger, seeming to take on a life of their own. I tried to put them into the back of my mind, tried to ignore them, but that only made them worse. I didn't know what to do. I felt that I was losing control and that someone else was pulling the strings, trying to make me do things that once would have been my most wonderful fantasies, but were now part of my greatest worries.
I think the hardest thing about the whole situation at this point was I had no real idea where these feelings and urges emanated. I hadn't made any connection between them and the CD. I was so worried and confused and lost feeling I needed, no feeling I was compelled to do something and not knowing where the compulsion was coming from or why.
A few days later, Mistress Amanda and I were in a local department store. She was shopping for a new perfume when she sprayed some on my wrists explaining to me that she needed to test it on a perfumeless wrist to tell what it smelled like. I barely heard her as waves of relief and near orgasmic pleasure hit me. For the first time in days, weeks my mind felt clear and I was completely relaxed and at ease. I felt ... "right" ... But, my relief was short lived.
The perfume seemed to have done the trick, except that I still had the Urges. The very next day Mistress Amanda called me on the phone and with her first word I had that same powerful need as before. Same force, different focus blush. I had no idea why blush, I just knew it was BLUSH! I needed it, I had to have it. I honestly thought that I WAS going crazy. A few days later Mistress Amanda, who had noticed these things, admitted she had changed my CD to the second in the series. A CD called Elegance and admitted that she had been watching (and enjoying) my discomfort. I guess the reason I hadn't recognized that she had switched CD's on me is that I have been a somnambulist since I was a child and that I still sleepwalk three or four times a year. In fact, Mistress Amanda ties a piece of yarn between one of my wrists and hers at bedtime so she'll know when I get up.
I didn't know whether to be upset and worried or relieved and happy. I think that I felt a great sense of relief that I wasn't going crazy. However, I still did not know exactly what was happening to me, or what Mistress Amanda¿s future plans for me were. She told me that, from then on, she was going to take a little more active part in my crossdressing.
She shared a printed form describing the effects of Elegance. She also told me that Elegance wasn't the only training CD in her possession. Sharing the printout for another CD, Male Charm, she told me that she would use it on me if I gave her anymore trouble or grief whenever she felt the desire to tan my backside or use her strapon on me. Since Male Charm basically takes a woman OR a man and turns them into a cock hungry slut, and, since the very idea of being with a man turns my stomach, this was a very real, serious threat. Especially since I could see in her eyes that she was completely serious.
The next day, she bought me some makeup. Lipsticks, blushes, mascara all in neutral or innocent shades that wouldn't make my professional life too difficult. She began teaching me what all good girls must know: how to properly apply them. When I balked a little, She asked me if I really thought I had a choice ... I think that's really the first time I considered the permanence of all this ... scary ... She also shared some of her panties from her lingerie drawer. Before Mistress Amanda had started taking a more active role in my crossdressing, I had always enjoyed the soft, slick, sensual feel of panties. In addition to those previous feelings, they now give me a feeling of confidence and euphoria. Wearing them I feel sexy and completely at ease.
Armed with knowledge of the trigger word and the suggestions and the tools to help comply, my life has become somewhat easier. And, since I've cycled through the list of suggestions from the CD, and gotten to the point of spending the entire day with perfume, makeup, lingerie, nail polish, mascara, thinned eyebrows, shaved legs, and hose at all times, the trigger doesn't seem to have such a profound effect. I guess it may be because I'm complying and because it's spread over a more broad range of suggestions, as opposed to just one or two.
Mistress Amanda gave me the third CD in the series on November the 5th, with instructions to listen to it every day, in addition to listening to Elegance at least three days a week. So far I can't tell any difference in myself, and I don't know what the third CD is supposed to do yet, which is a little scary. I have no idea what her current agenda is. Was I listening to Male Charm and didn't know or something perhaps even worse? Neither Mistress Amanda nor Mistress Linda will tell me what this one does as if guarding a precious secret. I'm also frightened at the prospect that I actually am feeling and acting differently and the CD is directing me NOT to notice.
Yesterday, November 13, we had our first outing at the mall. The way I was dressed, with a padded bra under my shirt and other accoutrements had me extremely nervous. After all, the bra is one of the garments most associated with femininity. For me to be wearing one in public was a symbol of what I was becoming, an uncomfortable symbol that I struggled with for most of our trip out. So much so that, at first, I didn't recognize that Mistress Amanda had led me to a jewelry kiosk and was telling the woman there I wanted my ears pierced.
I certainly did not want my ears pierced at that point, but, Mistress Amanda used some kind of hypnotic suggestion on me and all of the sudden, I couldn't resist. I had to have my ears pierced. I had to have the ear rings. So now, I have little gold orbs attached to my ears that feel very odd and a little sore.
Yesterday, November 15, I met Mistress Amanda out for a nice dinner. As instructed, I applied my makeup as best I could and was wearing my stuffed and padded bra beneath a light gray pullover sweater. The sweater was a little tight so I kept slouching to try and hide my "breasts" Mistress Amanda reached across the table, touched my hand, and whispered, "Sit up straight, Dear. When you slouch like that, it pulls the back of your sweater tighter and makes the outline of your bra much more prominent." So here was another catch-22, do I sit up and show my breasts or slouch and show everyone I actually was wearing a bra. The small triumphant smile on Mistress Amanda's face demonstrated how much she was enjoying my obvious dilemma as did her continued whisper, "Do you think it's going to get any easier when your B-Cup forms get here? They are much ... fuller ... larger ... and more realistic than what you have now."
I kept considering that all through the rest of our meal as Mistress Amanda brightly continued her usual "casual" conversation. This was so far out of my control and no way to stop it or even slow it down.
Now, here I sit at the computer typing this up from notes sketched out on paper, lightly made up, fingernails with clear nail polish, toenails polished a bright hot pink, shaved legs & chest & underarms, plucked eyebrows, clad in panties and pantyhose, a padded bra that has apparently become a more permanent accessory, androgynous clothes, ear rings, and a chocker chain.
I never intended for this to go this far. I had always wanted Mistress Amanda to force me to crossdress, yes, but this is ... permanent. And fulltime. I had always assumed that, if she took a more active role in feminizing me that I would be able to slip back into male mode periodically, if not frequently. The way Elegance works ... going back to being male, even for a little while, just isn't an option. And what's really frustrating is the knowledge that it is my own mind doing this to me. Even if I had the desire, I don't have the will to fight it.
Written by Jasmine
Posted by her owner Amanda
Jasmine (Jazz) <firstname.lastname@example.org>
- Wednesday, November 17, 2004 at 00:06:47 (EST)
Dearest Mind Mistress Linda,
Friday March 18th, was the most exciting day of my life. i didn't think that much pleasure and excitement was possible. You are incredible!!! i am not fully down from the experience yet and don't think i ever will be.
Saturday i was so delirious all day. i don't think i slept much Friday, but i got up early enough to get done what i had to do. Buy more makeup, panties and panty hose. i was so sleepy i couldn't trance and took a nap in the afternoon. Oh i almost forgot! before i went shopping i put my Anurous Toy in place and kepy it in most of the day. When i got up from my nap i replaced my toy, but needed more. i needed a dildo or anything that looked like a cock to suck. i finally made one out of large pens paper tape an a rubber. Not very good but i was desperate.
That night i was still in such a state of excitement i couldn't sleep. The good part about that was the chat we had. i am so gratefull for your help. and i did finally get through the checkout at Vibereview and am now the proud owner of a six inch Jelly-Dong, with suction cup, and a vibrating but plug.
Sunday i had family obligations that distracted me most of the day, but i did manage to buy condoms, and more makeup for my trip monday.
Monday was a disaster. i left for work sometime after 6:00AM not realizing i left my wallet on the dresser. i didn't discover this until i went to pay for lunch. So, i had to drive home Monday and drive back up on Tuesday. which left very little time to enjoy my butt toy. i did manage to trance to Happiness. Since our sessions i trance much deeper and get there faster. i seem to start drifting as soon as i hear your voice. its like i am already in a very light trance all the time, so when i hear your voice or see your words i just start drifting. i can't stop it. i don't want to stop it. i love trance!
Tuesday after work i registered at the motel, and settled in to listen to Vixen. i am such a busty vixen. When i came out of trance i just had to go to the gentleman's club and show off my body. Your conditioning kicked in and i freshened up my makeup checked my hair then left for the club. While driving to the club a very small voice tried to say "What are you doing?" Every time that voice came out it was drowned by a feeling of pleasure and desire to obey you. Now i've been to "adult stores" before so i shouldn't have been shaking with apprehension. i guess it was the desire and pleasure that were making me shake.
When i entered the store a woman clerk behind the counter gave me a big friendly HELLO. i don't know if she noticed my eyes shutter or heard the gasp that escaped my lips but i was over the edge. i managed to ask if the machines took cash or tokens. i entered the video area and selected a booth next to one that appeared to be occupied. it was so dark i had to put money in the machine just to see. What No Glory Hole?!:( so i moved to the other side of the occupied booth and put money in that machine again no glory hole:( This establishment evidently frowns on people enjoying other people. i went into the hallway and tried to seduce the bouncer (boy i'll never learn) He wasn't nasty or anything like that just he's an employee and he wants to keep his job. i spent the rest of the evening watching videos and browsing the sales area hoping to get lucky. not to be:( i went back to the motel and listened to male charm. Would have liked to experience the real thing, but soon in my trance i was satisfying men while being cynthia vixen.
With nothing else to do wednessday i returned with similar results. One thing i noticed i wasn't turned on by the guys on guys videos i think because i couldn't place myself in their situation. i mean i'm a girl with breast and pussy. Seeing two or more guys going at it–i could suck their cocks etc... but when i looked at the screen iwasn't in the picture– do you know what i mean? Similarly the women on women didn't turn me on as much as it used to. its great if someone kisses my nipples or licks my pussy but i need cock in me!
Today i arrived home early to find my jelly dong and but plug had been delivered. i immediatly took the dong out and after washing it started sucking away. the butt plug is going to take some work. my ass isn't quite ready yet but i am making progress with my other butt toy. Streching myself out a little more each day.
After two sessions all hope of returning to any semblence of maleness is futile, and i'm happy about that. its what i always wanted. i know i am your sissy cock slut foreever. The most exciting thing about that is i am going to be what you want me to be.
Remaining your obedient cock slut cynthia vixen
- Thursday, March 24, 2005 at 17:56:30 (EST)
Hi everyone :). I just want to give a little review of how my feminization is progressing. As someone down the page said you can't be hypnotized to do something you don't want to do. I don't really know if that is true because in my case it has helped me to do and feel things which I've always wanted to and fantasized about. After all I imagine that the reason most of us are here in the first place is that somewhere within each of us are the desires which the cds help us to aquire and develop.
I can't believe how well a few sessions with Mind Mistress and listening to cds has changed me. Elegance got me started and has worked well enough that I don't listen to it much anymore. I'm constantly drawn to wearing blush, lipstick, clear nail polish, perfume, mascara, and even eybrow gel on my semi plucked brows. As each of these things is applied I get more and more excited and love how much prettier I look. I feel so sexy and horny that it's like I'm becoming a transvestite again, except the desire to be made up doesn't leave me if I should climax. It just makes me feel happy to be more of a girl and happy that I'm the transexual I am. In fact I just came back up to this paragraph as after writing all of this I had to make up my face.
Next came Vixen, Male Charm, and Envy which have helped me to become more at ease with the feelings I've always had of wanting to be a woman. I say "helped me" rather than "made me" because I knew that's what I wanted to do, but it was just so hard to break the decades of living, conditioning, and natural instincts that controlled my thoughts and desires. Nowadays when I look at a woman it's not with lust, but to appraise and envy them for their breasts, figures, derrieres, etc... Nice tight ladies jeans help to give me the appearance of having a girlish rear end and the makeup helps my face. The biggest change though is that I now have such a desire to have a cock in me, just typing and thinking about it has me squirming in my chair. Also every once in awhile I'll drive or walk past a man somewhere and I'll start to become aroused.
This also not something that I did not want to have happen, it's something I've dreamed of for years. Sexually I've always been a sub who desired to be taken by my partner and that's pretty much how most of my sexual experience has been, albeit mostly with women. I have been picked up by men a few times in the past but was always drinking when it happened and never even thought of doing that when sober. Afterwards I would always feel guilty and lose the desire just like when I would dress. Now I don't drink much at all and I dream about cocks all through the day and find it hard to believe that once I was actually attracted to women's vaginas. The only way I'd want to have one of them again is after surgery. :) I still haven't gotten out to meet some men, but practice now and then with a thick 6" long dildo I bought. Sucking on it gets me so horny and starts my mouth to watering so much the dildo slides in and out of my mouth so slick and smooth as I move my head up and down. When I pull my head up off of it I pretend that the string of saliva connecting me to it is really cum it's shot into my mouth. :) I can't wait to taste someone's come for real again, other than my own which I lap up from my palm after bringing myself to climax. If any of you have never tasted cum, even your own, you don't know what you're missing. I know that it looks a little gross, but just suck it in fast the way you would a bitter cough medicine. Like most things, the second time is easier and much more pleasureable.
Well that's what I've been up to so far this year. Thank you all for being here and posting such interesting accounts and stories. And thank You to Mind Mistress for giving us all the opportunity. best wishes! geri
w warwick, ri usa - Friday, April 22, 2005 at 22:00:54 (EDT)
Mistress, several onths ago I purchased som of your cd's, subconcious, elegance, vixen, envy.
they are amazing and I truly thank you. I see things much more clearly now, I ussually train with elegance snd vixen and your beautifull voice is with me always now, I now know my true purpose in life is to be a slave girl and it feels so good. I drop into trance so easily now it is almost automatic and I crave it so much, to listen to your voice is truly an experience I can no longer go without.
I think I will purchase your acceptance cd next to help me focus on your words even more so that I always obey like a good slave girl, mmmmm, just writing this gives me such pleasure it is hard to describe, something I never thought possible, thank you so so much mistress, I am yours now.
georgia usa - Tuesday, April 26, 2005 at 19:43:36 (EDT)
Dear Mistress, In your e-mail to me dated 04/13/05, you said that you enjoyed hearing personal stories about the effects of the CDs. So, I've decided to drop you a line to give you an update on how I am being affected. For you info and following your recommendation, I have just recieved my fourth CD–Vixen, which follows Elegance, Male Charm and Envy, in that order.
Before getting Envy two months ago, I wasn't even sure that I was actually going into trance. You felt that I was probably going into light to medium trance. Well, after a constant dose of ENVY, coupled with continuing to listen to Elegance, I have no doubt that I am now easily going into trance. This whole thing started several months ago because I became intrigued by your website and was very curious about what you said in your CDs and how you said it. I can now say that the CDs are having a profound effect on my personality and perception of myself. I am changing and now thinking and doing things that, four months ago, I would not have contemplated doing. I am noticeably more submissive and less decisive. More and more, I seem to be deferring to and wanting others to make decisions for me.
Elegance is very subversive and the suggestions just build and build inside of you with every exposure, until you mentally give into the pressure. Giving into one suggestion makes it easier to make a second change, then a third, and so on. I fine myself making changes to myself–feminizing changes–that are not even mentioned in the CD. I manage a small reail shop outside of Washington, DC–just some part-time employees and myself. After about 2 weeks of Elegance, I finally gave into the desire to start wearing a feminine fragrance. However, being afraid that I would immediately be noticed wearing a woman's perfume, I decided on Avon Naturals Body Spray. The scents are quite light, but up close are distinctively feminine. That satisfied me for about a week, but then I got antsy again. I got it in my mind that my lips were to thin and boring. So, I started using Body Inventions "Lip Explosion", which is a lip plumper and also a clear gloss. With it, I also used Avon "Beyond Color" Plumping Lip Conditioner in a neutral shade to somewhat mute the shine of the "Lip Explosion". I must admit, my lips are now fuller. Then, after a couple more weeks, I decided that my eyebrows looked to bushy and I started to gradually shape them. It seemed that I could never quite get them right. So, I went and got a Remington Precision Eyebrow Trimmer and trimmed them to 2 mm, then plucked and played with them until now they are defined and quite feminine in shape. Since I wear glasses most of the time, I was able to cover their feminine appearance by-and-large. Then, three weeks ago, I got it in my head that my glass frames were too masculine, so I ordered a new pair of presciption lenses, this time with woman's frames. Now, my brows are more visible because of the smaller, more delicate frames. Several women, including one of my part-time ladies, commented that they liked my new glasses. I'm guessing that most people just accept them as unisex in style. Next came panties (which I now wear at work every day along with a gaff, so I look totally flat in front), shaping my dark brunette pubic bush, shaving my underarms and the hair on my legs. I have now started to wear woman's jewelry–ladies watches that are not totally feminine, bracelets and necklaces that are more ornate and delicate than a man would wear, and elegant but not overly feminine rings. No, I haven't gotten my ears pierced yet. My fingernails are now longer and nicely shaped. So far, I still haven't convinced myself to wear blush or mascara out in public. But right now, I'm starting to think that some light blush wouldn't be too noticeable. It is tempting.
About a month after I purchased Elegance, I got Male Charm. At first, I couldn't get into the "swing of things" with the CD. Why I ordered it, I'm still not sure. Even now, I still don't believe that I'm gay. All of my sexual relationships in the past have been with females. Anyway, initially, the CD was fun, but I was not the participant, but rather, more like a floating observer–hovering above the activity and watching. I must admit, that even as an observer, I got really turned on. That all changed when I started listening to Envy about two months ago. Now, when I go back to Male Charm, I actually do become "Cassie", but I haven't been able to experience orgasm as a female, yet. Perhaps Vixen, the CD I just recieved, will help that along.
Your Envy CD has really had an affect on me. I listen to it almost nightly and sometimes with Elegance, sometimes with Male Charm. I don't know which CD is the cause, but over the past two months, I have purchased a lot of woman's clothing and started wearing them to work–especially women's jeans, tops and loafers. I have been careful to make sure that I don't look too noticeably feminine. I've developed almost a total unisex look. I know that I'm starting to walk a fine line–sort of balancing my strange, new urges against displaying them too obviously. However, just knowing that I'm wearing female clothing in public, for some reason, gives me immense pleasure. Envy has been very effective in changing how I look at women–especially attractive women. Yes, I have in fact, become extremely jealous of them. It seems that I have become especially jealous of women with great looking hair, and those with rounded, shapely feminine bottoms and a thin waist. Lately, I seem to be always fantasizing about having a thin waist; a firm sexy butt; wide feminine hips; rounded thighs and a totally flat crouch. But, believe it or not, I don't ever picture myself having big breasts, but rather firm, well shaped, perky ones. On a subscious level, I recently caught my reflection in a store window and noticed that I was swinging my hips more as I walk–and I didn't even know I was doing it. As I write this at my shop, I am wearing faded Calvin Klein Easy Fit woman's jeans, a berry-heather color L.L.Bean women's mock turtleneck shirt; and burgundy Bass Casell women's penny loafers. My waist is currently 30 inches and is just a tiny bit snug in my Size 10 jeans. I am only 5'6" tall, with a small to medium build, and I currently weigh 140 lbs. Since I first started listening to Envy two months ago, I've lost 12 lbs, and I have it in my mind to lose another 10 lbs. and 2" off my waist, which would allow me to get into Size 8 jeans. Perhaps, my next CD after Vixen should be Corset Diet. I know it sounds goofy, but I just felt immense pleasure telling you what I am wearing at this moment.
On another issue, Envy, along with Male Charm, have really thrown me into confusion not only concerning my gender idenity, but also concerning my feeling about men. I can never remember being attracted to men in a sexual way before. But that definitely seems to be changing. I've had no sexual relations with a women since I started listening to Envy. Now, I am finding myself actually flirting with good-looking delivery drivers and even some handsome customers that come into the shop. I've noticed that when I see a good looking or well built man, I catch myself wondering what he looks like naked, how big his cock is and even how heavy he would feel laying on top of me between my widely spread thighs. I even bought a pheromone product called "Passion Copulin Concentrate for Women", a fragrance & pheromone mixture supposedly great for attracting men. When I look at prono now on the web, I look for sites offering conventional sex between a man and a woman, but I'm only interested in pictures or videos where the woman is a dark haired brunette, that I think would resemble a "female me". Then I masturbate while fantasizing that I am she–that I'm the one actually sucking his cock; that I'm the one being mounted; that it's my own real vagina that's being fucked. I'm always being fucked bareback–never with a condom–so I can feel his cum being pumped into me. I even fantasize about getting pregnant. But I only fantasize that I'm having sex with a man as a woman, never as a man.
That brings me to now. I've recently ordered and recieved 100mg Spironolactone anti-androgen tablets and 1mg Estrofem estradiol estrogen tablets (which come in a cute round pill dispenser , just like birth control pills–how appropriate). I can't believe I actually ordered them. My thinking was that I could just take enough female hormones to give me a little feminine development without going too far. Maybe take only 1/2 mg or 1 mg of Estrofem a day instead of the 2 mg recommended for pre-op transsexuals. Same with the anti-androgen. Anyway, it's not like I couldn't stop, if I wanted to. Still, I haven't taken any yet. In fact, about a week ago right after they were delivered, I actually threw the whole lot into the trash one night. I guess I got into a mood about how stupid I was acting–your CDs, the female clothing, the jewelry and perfume, etc., etc. Well, I fetched the pills out of the trash first thing the next morning–right before the trash truck came. I guess my funky mood had passed because that evening I listened to Elegance, Envy, Male Charm and then Envy again, one right after the other, in that order. It took up the entire evening. Anyway, the pills are still there...calling to me. Don't know what I'll do with them at this. Guess I need someone to force me to take them.
So that's my story for now. It is now evident to me that your CDs, your website, the animations, all of it are extremely effective–more so than I ever thought possible. At first, I thought I was playing a mind game with myself; now, I find that it is much more serious and, yes, much more pleasurable than I ever imagined. Your voice, tone and inflections are absolutely perfect. I thought about getting Elegance II, you know, to sort of build on Elegance I. But the idea of an "all of a sudden" change, i.e., breast implants, seems unnatural to me, plus breast implants don't do anything for developing a sexy feminine tush.
Well, I'm sorry for being so long winded. You must hear this story a hundred times a month. Thank you so much for listening.
Your devoted admirer, Cassie
Cassie 6/8/2005 9:35 PM classicw@NOSPAMbellatlantic.net
I have listened to Vixen five times and am amazed at how You have been able to transform me. With each time, I have been able to transform more easily and been able to see myself as Vixen. The most amazing part to me is the strength of orgasms you have given me and I thank You for this. The waves of pleasure are so intense and my old orgasms pale in comparison. And all this because You command it. I love how you had me relive a sexual experience and took me from penetrating my lover to being the one penetrated. I absolutely love the big boobs and new pussy you have given me. I love being Vixen.
Dear Mistress Alice,
Wow, I've been listening to Vixen for almost 3 weeks now, and I can't believe how much I love the experience that I am having with it. Immediately after listening, I feel very satisfied and happy and ready to start my day. But by the following morning, I CAN'T WAIT to listen to it again.
Today I've been feeling pleasure in my pussy all afternoon. I know it's from Vixen, and frankly I am happy about it. It feels so good. Why would I not want that? Ohhh but I does drive me crazy at times.
So I want to THANK YOU DEEPLY for advising me to get Vixen before I got Male Charm. Vixen wasn't even on my radar up to that point.
I'm thinking that instead of getting Male Charm next, I should get Acceptance next. I want to go deeper!!! I want it so badly!!!! I just can't imagine going on to Male Charm until I have experienced VIxen as deeply as I possibly can.
Do you agree? If so, how long should I listen to Vixen before I go to Acceptance?
(Knowing that once I have trained with Acceptance, I should retrain with both Elegance and Vixen?
I anxiously await your advice!!
Fri, 12 Oct 2007 14:01:06 -0700 (PDT)
You can read teena's review of CD3-Elegance here
On 16/11/2009 1:43 PM, Barbara wrote:
I began listening to Vixen in earnest after I finally began following the training of Elegance in my out of trance life. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but at that point I believe I was hooked on being in trance, and the pleasure and contentment following through with the training gave me. Being feminine was now good. It was as though if trance from one CD was good then two would be better. Up until then I still thought of myself as a regular guy getting some kicks out of a little crossdressing. I believe this changed for me shortly after listening consistently to Vixen. I realize now that I started wanting to be a girl. I had never experience sexual pleasure like the female orgasms Mistress gave me. The more I listened the more I had to. The more I listened the more I wanted to be a girl, look like a girl, and have female orgasms. This desire became so compelling that I actually began taking female hormones to see if I could grow my own boobs. I believe due to the combination of the trance training and the flash animation I began wishing I could have my own boobs. My moods and body began to change. Today my breasts are a small B. I love them and even though I go through moments of apprehension regarding what has been going on with this process I don’t seem to be able to stop myself from continuing.
When I am around others I seem to be able to act more like a guy but when I’m by myself I think, dress, and act more like a girl. Today I see that I am driven by the pleasure that I get from being feminine. The one thing I have continued to resist doing is removing my body hair. I guess I am concerned that it might be way too noticeable by people in certain situations. This also saddens me because I know I really want to. Imagine that; taking hormones and growing noticeable breasts and being afraid to remove my body hair. As time has gone on my thinking / gender has been changing. I didn’t seem to be able to stop it. When I have tried I always seem to go right back to it because it feels good. Today I don’t even try anymore. It is just who I am becoming. Thank you Mistress for adding so much to my life.
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