The Joy of Series: Part 1 – Submission

[custom_frame_right][/custom_frame_right] Mistress Linda requested that I tell my story – actually, it’s Her story, since She made me what I am today! It’s hard to remember through all the changes that have gone on over the past couple of years; I know I am a very different person than when I started, but I love who I have become, a sexy copy of Herself. As I sit in the sun on my back porch, I am smoking my first Virginia Slim 120 of the day, and reading back through the logs of our earliest sessions, trying to recall who I used to be, and where this all began. . .

My goodness, I was so different back then! I was an average, heterosexual, middle-aged married man with a curiosity about BDSM and a fetish for Mind-Control, like so many others who have stumbled across Mistress Linda’s website. I had a very submissive nature, and enjoyed serving and pleasing others, but was very nervous about going beyond the fantasy stage. It took quite a while for me to get up the courage to contact Mistress, but after chatting with Her for a while, She helped me to see that all I needed was to take a few ‘baby steps’ to begin the process. My original desire, I think, was just to experience what it was like to be a submissive, feminized slave, desiring only to serve. Over the course of several months, She enabled me to have this experience, but revealed that there was so much more to discover about myself.

Becoming Jackie

Once She had conditioned me to be able to go into trance on command, Mistress helped me to experience my first orgasm as a female, one of the most wonderful experiences of my life (and one I was eager to repeat as often as possible!) She replaced the critical, logical voice (I used to think of it as my ‘conscience’) in my head with Her own strong and calm voice, and created a female ‘thinking voice’ for me, setting me on paths I had never before considered or realized. However, I still had to revert to my old ‘male’ voice after our sessions, as I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to function at my job or with my wife.

I eventually asked Her to create an entirely new, female persona for me, but based on Her ‘Part-Time Girl’ model, as I was not at a place for a permanent change of lifestyle. Thus, “Jackie” was born – a sexy, somewhat ditzy but very obedient slavegirl, who looked like Sandra Bullock and – as she quickly discovered – LOVED to smoke. Mistress arranged it so that Jackie would emerge whenever I was alone, and would know nothing of my original self. Jackie would exist only to please Mistress Linda by cleaning, cooking and doing housework. When I returned to my ‘old self’, I would remember all that Jackie had experienced; I had great fun for a while leaving notes and e-mails for Jackie with duties for her to perform, or giving her permission to just relax and be sexy for the day, even ordering her to log onto chat rooms and flirt with guys. Mistress eventually implanted some wonderful memories for Jackie of growing up as a submissive, sexy slut, learning to serve while in high school, and coming into Mistress’ service as a teenager. Over time, Jackie began to smoke more and more, and her intelligence decreased to the point where she had to write down the steps just to log onto the computer to chat with Mistress! But I did (and still do, on occasion) have many wonderful hours of blissful servitude as Jackie, letting go of my cares and responsibilities, existing only to serve Her.

Becoming Lynn

After a period of time, switching back and forth between male and female personas and bodies, I started to feel a longing inside I couldn’t express or admit to myself. My male voice was starting to feel guilt over what I was doing, and was intruding into my time as Jackie. I finally realized that what I wanted was to be motivated by the female voice all the time (under Mistress’ supervision of course!) We finally had a pivotal session which was inspired by the ‘Master PC’ stories I had discovered on the ‘net, where a magical piece of software can be used to alter reality. While in trance, Mistress had me become Jackie, and use the computer to re-program my old personality to Her specifications (I had given her free reign to change it as She saw fit) and oh my, what changes! It is amazing, as I reread these logs, to see how different I am now from what how I used to be. She changed my taste in clothing, in music, in food, my sexual orientation (becoming the bisexual shemale slut I am today!) and becoming much more forceful and controlling in my dealings with others. In short, She created a dominant, sexy Goth girl who loved the color purple, Techno-Industrial music, craved red wine and French bread, was a committed smoker and above all was dedicated to controlling and subverting others – in other words, very much like Mistress Herself! The last step was to have Jackie take a large, leather-bound book from the ‘library’ of my personality (representing my old male thinking-voice) and drop it down a bottomless well, vanishing forever. . .

Once out of trance, I knew there was no going back, as the ‘new me’ now seemed quite natural. Mistress Linda pointed out that I would now need a more appropriate name, so I chose Jacquelyn at Her suggestion, (Lynn for short.) From now on, when I switched back and forth, it would be between the submissive Jackie and the dominant Lynn, although lately I have preferred to spend more and more time as Lynn. At this stage, I still kept my old male appearance in order to function out in the world, but was now motivated by the desire to create sexy smokers in any way I could, and my subsequent sessions with Mistress began to explore different ways I could achieve this – and, in so doing, becoming more and more like Her in every way. No one suspected my inward change, but many people (my wife included) commented on my new, assertive style and the way I knew how to get what I wanted, traits which I would later use to my advantage.

As I write this, I am shaking my head in amazement at how I have changed. (I used to like jazz, for Goddess sake!) If someone gave me the option at this point of going back, I would just laugh, and blow smoke in their faces. Only Mistress knows what is next for me, but I trust it will be for the best – baby steps first. . .

Sincerely, Jacquelyn